BATHROOM: Planet Hollywood 1st Floor

Even those who pass by Planet Hollywood often on their way to and from Orange Garage may not know about this private restroom on the 1st floor. If this is your go-to dump-pad, I’m sorry for letting the word out!

Ambiance 9/10
Okay you are probably asking why such a high score for what appears to be a pretty standard looking bathroom. That’s a fair question. Just think about how rare it is to stumble upon a private restroom in Walt Disney World. In such a place you can make the ambiance anything you want! Open up your Spotify and set the mood to whatever gets you going, or perhaps catch up on some television (with the volume on!).

Decor 3/10
So it’s pretty plain, I’ll admit that. I have a huge soft spot for this place if you couldn’t tell, so some sympathy points were awarded for the one framed photo on the wall of…something. It probably has to do with movies…but also looks like a telescope? Don’t tell me because I really don’t care. I didn’t count the primate outside of the bathroom because I wasn’t sure what he was all about either.

Facilities 4/10
I hate to take shots at what is a magical private throne, but my job is to report the facts. The facilities here don’t measure up to other places.  In a public environment a unisex toilet without a urinal is usually a recipe for disaster. Many guys will refuse to put the lid up and are often too lazy to wipe up droplets on the seat. There are also no alternate hand drying options other than a standard air dryer. Somewhat of an annoyance is the sink mirror, which is tilted downward for our handicap friends but impractical for average-height individuals.

Privacy 9/10 
As much as I’d like to hand out the coveted 10/10 privacy rating, I can’t do it. As well hidden as it is, this is the closest bathroom to Stargazers bar and patrons will often be directed here. While you will always have a private experience here, it can be pretty awkward if someone is standing outside and waiting for you. Some might consider this worse than a full on bathroom situation. If you’re someone who has no shame and just wants a room to yourself, then definitely stop by the next time you’re on the West Side. Oh shoot, you know what, that probably is a telescope. Stargazers has some sort of telescope theme going so it checks out. But also still don’t email me about this. I promise I don’t care.

OVERALL: 6.25